“Recently my husband and I attended the P.E.T. course. I describe the course and the skills learned as the missing puzzle piece! As parents we knew how we didn’t want to parent – no smacking, no threatening, no bribing or punishing, yet we struggled to find an appropriate alternative and were at risk of being too ‘soft’. Using P.E.T. has helped us to fill in the blanks and provided us with those much needed alternatives. The benefit of doing the course together has meant that my husband and I are now on the same page in terms of our parenting styles. Our confidence to be the parents we want to be has returned.
Both our children, despite being very different in personality, have responded well to us acknowledging their feelings and working together to find solutions that work for the whole family. Our Instructor continually models the P.E.T skills, giving us first hand experience of the gentle, yet assertive style she is advocating. We are very grateful to have had the P.E.T. experience with her and believe that we will be better parents as a result!”
Parent Effectiveness Training
Learn how to raise responsible, resilient, emotionally healthy and happy children.
Find CoursesOnline or Face to Face courses are now available for your choice.
What is Parent Effectiveness Training?
Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) is based on a philosophy of respect for everyone’s feelings and needs in the family or teacher/ child relationships. Meeting children’s emotional needs is vital for raising happy, resilient, secure kids and our needs as parents, carers and educators are important too!
P.E.T. is unique in that it is not focused on simply trying to change children’s behaviours. Children’s behaviour is usually driven by underlying feelings and needs. Many parenting and teacher education courses focus on trying to change children’s behaviour and therefore miss the underlying causes. This often results in change that is short-lived and doesn’t help children develop important social and emotional skills.
P.E.T. offers parents, educators and carers highly practical tools to raise emotionally intelligent children, without the reliance on coercive behaviour management such as punishments, rewards, threats, bribes or time outs.
This results in warmer, more connected relationships, and kids who are happier, more co-operative, responsible and self-disciplined. This also makes parenting, teaching or caring easier and more enjoyable!
Who does P.E.T. work for?
P.E.T. skills are equally effective for parents, educators or carers with children of all ages; for step-parents, single parents, foster parents, parents of different cultural backgrounds, grandparents, educators and carers.
Designed to teach healthy communication skills to parents, educators or carers, P.E.T. is a 24 hour course, which usually comprises of 8 x 3hour sessions. The P.E.T. program was developed by award-winning, psychologist Dr Thomas Gordon 60 years ago after extensive research. The course is now taught by accredited instructors worldwide.
P.E.T. can show you how to:
- Listen so children will feel understood (ACTIVE LISTENING)
- Grow your connection with your children (PREVENTIVE & RELATIONSHIP SKILLS)
- Talk so children will understand and help you (I-MESSAGES)
- Resolve conflict so nobody loses (THE NO-LOSE METHOD)
- Avoid ineffective communication (COMMUNICATION ROADBLOCKS)
- Deal constructively with values collisions (CONSULTING SKILLS)
Benefits to families or educators and children in classrooms:
- Less stress and anxiety
- Better able to deal with anger and strong emotions
- Warmer more satisfying relationships
- Children become self-disciplined, resilient and solve own problems
- Day-to-day issues are resolved respectfully eg bedtime, chores, homework, going to school, classroom routines, use of social media
- Children talk more openly to parents or educators
- Fewer family or classroom conflicts
- Children more open to parent or educators ideas and their values
- Parents or educators can comfortably express their own concerns and unmet needs related to children’s behaviour.
Duration: 3 hour sessions offered over an 8 week period (24 hours in total).
Classes: Choice of online or face to face courses are now available. As a skills based program, you will practice your learning within your class to gain confidence in using them in your everyday life or unique situation. Classes are interactive and experiential.
Course Outline: Parent Effectiveness Training
Session 1: Understanding Parent Effectiveness
- Current issues and problems parents face & how the Gordon Model works
- Observing and understanding children’s behaviours (avoiding judgement)
- Factors that affect how parents view children’s behaviour that help or hinder
- Acceptable & unacceptable behaviours – understanding needs
- Problem ownership – who owns the problem?
- Setting personal goals
Session 2: Learning the Helping Skills
- When children have problems – cues and clues
- Avoiding roadblocks
- Helping skills when children have unmet needs
- Passive & Active Listening
Session 3: Active Listening
- Conditions for Active Listening
- Practising Active Listening
- Supporting children to solve their own problems
Session 4: Preventing Problems & Conflicts
- Communicating honestly with children
- Expressing appreciation to children rather than ineffective praise
- Preventing conflicts
- Modifying the environment to prevent conflicts
- Connecting through quality one to one time
Session 5: Confronting Unacceptable Behaviours
- Avoiding ineffective confrontation when parents have unmet needs
- Effective confrontation – I-Messages
- Handling resistance
- Practising effective confrontation & handling resistance (real life examples)
Session 6: Resolving Conflict
- Understanding conflicts of unmet needs
- Ineffective ways of resolving conflicts – pitfalls of using power
- The No-Lose Method (Method III problem solving)
- Separating needs from solutions
Session 7: Applying & Practising Method III
- Practising Method III (real life examples)
- Mediating conflicts between children (involving children in problem solving)
Session 8: Resolving Values Collisions
- Understanding values collisions
- Options for resolving Values Collisions
- Risks of use of power
- Problem solving values related behaviour
- Effective consulting with children
- The importance of role modelling
- Modifying self & the importance of self-reflection.
About ETIA
The Effectiveness Training Institute of Australia (ETIA) Ltd is a not-for-profit, community based organisation that is dedicated to making courses in communication and conflict resolution skills available and accessible to all people in Australia.
ETIA’s mission is to provide individuals with effective communication and conflict resolution skills to build connected, harmonious relationships.
Our inspiration and programs come from the late Dr Thomas Gordon who is the author and founder of Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) program and Gordon Training International (GTI).